The Power of a Focused Mom and Dad
By Stacey | Posted on July 8, 2009 | No Comments
“Stay focused!” is something my children hear regularly from me. It seems like when it’s school time, chore time, or transition times (like before bed), our children have an amazing capacity to socialize with one another. Sometimes it’s almost painful to tell them to stop talking or playing because I’m so glad they enjoy each other and are friends. Realistically, though, there comes a time to buckle down and just get stuff done.
It is an important character trait to be able to stay focused and persevere in the tasks we do. And yet, we as parents have to balance our task list with the never-ending task of nurturing other humans. I could often use a little of my kids’ ability to set aside the task at hand and just focus on the people around me for a minute. How about you?
Spousie and children NEED us to be able to stop sometimes and really focus on a new discovery, misplaced item, trick on the trampoline, problem needing a solution, reinactment of a scene from “Curious George”. . . or whatever. When I am being talked to in the middle of something else I’m doing, which is often, I try to LOOK at the person talking to me and give eye contact. I’m not perfect at this, by any means. But this simple tool accomplishes so much in the way of communicating genuine interest and love to the person talking.
This is not to say that children should come to expect that they will be the center of your attention at any time for any reason. No one enjoys children or adults that try to dominate every conversation or situation they are a part of. Teach your children to interrupt respectfully and discreetly if Mom or Dad is talking to another person. But when you are doing something like peeling veggies, or using the computer, unless you’re on a time deadline, you probably have the minutes necessary to connect with the person desiring your focus. Put down your book, look up from the laundry pile, pause at the dishwasher. LOOK at the person talking to you and focus. Show genuine interest in what they say and when appropriate, make your eyes sparkle and smile really big.