Don’t You Just Love It?
By Stacey | Posted on June 12, 2009 | No Comments
There are many, many obvious challenges about raising a large family. I won’t even endeavor to list them all here. Most of you know them firsthand. But amidst all those challenges, there are some amazing things to delight in. Here are just a few. As you read, mentally add your own ideas to my list and thank the Creator for them. Also, go tell your spousie and children how glad you are to be sharing this life with them.
- Anyone hugging or kissing anyone else
- People dragging themselves out of cozy beds because they forgot to hug/kiss/say goodnight to so-and-so
- Siblings working together to accomplish tasks
- Mom and Dad smooching only to find 1-3 kiddos slithering in between for some falling sugar
- A million colors and sizes of everything: undies, socks, shoes, toothbrushes, PJs, bath towels, bath robes, favorite blankets, favorite dolls/stuffed animals, bicycles, musical instruments, comforters, etc.
- People choosing to share their things
- Siblings giving up free time to play something “beneath them”
- Olders holding youngers
- Youngers copying olders
- Conversations, talking, chatting, and story-telling
- Siblings watching out for each other
- Genuine rejoicing from all as one learns to ride a bike, loses a tooth, or plays a recital piece
- Lots of cute feet – line them up in order some time and take a picture
- More birthdays to celebrate
- Wonderful, raucous noise
- Lots of breathing in the house at night
- Crowded couches
- Older kids to help you remember things from your younger children’s early years
- Older children teaching your younger children things you taught them “when they were young”
- Younger children teaching your older children things they should have learned by now!
- Walking in public and having people smile at your family
- Watching the children walk somewhere holding hands
- Hearing the children express love or approval to one another
- Watching the children comfort one another
- Walking behind your brood somewhere and realizing all those precious people live at YOUR HOUSE
You’re My Favorite. . .
By Stacey | Posted on May 30, 2009 | No Comments
We have friends that have more children than we do. They are always juggling more than we are, and it’s been interesting to watch them from the sidelines. One day, the husband of the family was sitting on our couch talking with his 4th child out of 5 or 6 at the time. The child was probably about 2 or 3 and his daddy was making the most of what would have been an empty moment. ”You’re my favorite Timothy in the whole world,” our friend said to his captive audience. I was greatly intrigued by what I had just heard. At first, I inwardly chuckled. ”Yes,” I thought, “that’s the best you can do with so many kids to raise.” I went on with what I had to do next. Days or weeks later, however, I found myself saying that to one of my children. My heart had softened toward the sentiment. I had even become excited about it! Whoever I was blessed enough to be relating with at that moment was truly, really my favorite Whoever in the whole world! I had a simple way to communicate a profound truth to each of my children. You are individually loved and enjoyed and NO ONE else can take your place.
Don’t feel guilty for bringing your children into a family of more than the average number of children.
Do work hourly to show love for and enjoyment of each person in your family – don’t forget your spousie.
Do collect an arsenal of words and actions that can convey love to each person in your family.
Use this tool if it works for you. I put the words “You’re my favorite. . . in the whole wide world” to music. Now, my children often sing it back to me and I get to be someone’s favorite too!
Sometimes Less Is More
By Stacey | Posted on May 30, 2009 | 1 Comment
I wanted to share some of my “less is more” list with you. Read on and you’ll see what I mean.
Less is more:
- Clothing – you do laundry constantly anyway. Save some of the brain juice you’ve been using trying to store all those extra clothes your kids don’t really need. Give the extras to other families, sell them, or donate them at a local charity. But what about saving them for hand-me-downs? I feel your pain. You look at a shirt or dress and say, “Suzie doesn’t need this but Janie may when she gets to this size.” My best advice is keep a few things over and above Suzie’s needs and give the rest away. Even if Suzie ruins a few things, you’ll still have about the same number of items left that you dressed her in for Janie to use later. You will have forgotten about the item in question when Janie gets to this size anyway. And if you have a network of caring friends and family, you’re likely to have more stuff coming your way for Janie in the future too. Don’t get confused here. I’m not saying we don’t save clothes to pass down later. We have lived with an army of plastic storage containers filled with waiting hand-me-downs in our garage for years. I’m saying that it’s helpful to trim down the quantity of clothes you maintain in the closets for the current season for each child.
- Toys – figure out which ones have true play value and get rid of the rest. I’ll write about our enduring favorites in a later post. Find some friends to trade toys with to brighten up your supply without spending money. When your children tire of them, just sanitize them and send them home!
Making Each Child Feel Special Part 1
By Stacey | Posted on May 29, 2009 | No Comments
How can parents with so many kids invest individually in a meaningful way? I’m sure that’s a question with a thousand answers, but here’s one for today. Make each child’s birthday special. Now, notice, I did not say “$pecial”. If you have the money to wow your children with expensive gifts, decorations and foods, fantastic. As long as there’s provision in the budget, and you and spousie agree, go for it! But, that has not been the case the majority of the time at our house. Usually, “special” at our house means thinking of ways to make the child king or queen for a day. Sometimes those things cost money, and sometimes they don’t.
Here are some things we have done to enhance the celebration of our birthdays:
- Child chooses menu for all three meals of the day (with gentle guidelines from Mom)
- Child is freed from daily chore responsibilities
- Child can sleep in
- Child can sit in the best spots in the vehicle, living room and at the table
- Child chooses the music, games, TV shows or movies
- Decorations are hung in the dining room and/or on the child’s chair (if this wows them)
- Child is permitted to choose plates, cups, napkins, balloon colors at the Dollar Store or other inexpensive source (if this wows them)
- Gifts are presented – sometimes by means of a treasure hunt with clues customized to child’s age and ability
- Siblings participate in making cards and decorations for the wall
- Verbal words of love and affirmation are spoken
- The day’s festivities center around a theme such as butterflies, superheroes, etc. (if this wows them)
Here are some things I would like to see us try in the future:
- Dad and/or Mom write the birthday child a special letter, poem or song
- A show or play is presented by the family to the birthday child
- Photos and memory box treasures related to the birthday child are viewed by the whole family
Keeping Children Safely Occupied Part 4
By Stacey | Posted on May 25, 2009 | No Comments
Our children have enjoyed access to a variety of art supplies over the years. When I’m brave and relaxed (about the impending mess) I have pulled out a few, or several choices and allowed them to go at it! Dollar stores are a good source of supplies, as well as your own recycled treasures. Sit down and create with them if you can, otherwise, work nearby, especially if your children are young. Even if you are tied up somewhere else, pop in to wink at the kids, and inspire their creativity.
Stock your art container with:
- Cotton balls, Q-tips
- Popsicle sticks
- Colored paper
- Muffin liners
- Coffee filters
- Pipe cleaners
- Wooden clothespins
- Fabric scraps
- Colored art pom-pons
- Glitter
- Paint
- Buttons, beads, macaroni, etc.
- Yarn
- Stickers
- Index cards
- Boxes, toilet paper rolls, paper plates, aluminum foil, lids of all kinds from vitamin bottles and the like
Use caution about small pieces when small children are doing arts and crafts! Only you know their abilities and how much they tend to put things in their mouth.
Keeping Children Safely Occupied Part 3
By Stacey | Posted on May 25, 2009 | No Comments
Playdough is so fun but so messy! We “abstained” from it for awhile, but, the squishy stuff won my heart back. Our kids still get excited when a brand new pack of playdough comes home from the store. I have collected things over the years that are fun to use with playdough. Collect an assortment of items like plastic silverware, rollers, cutters, safety scissors, wooden sticks, stuff to “draw” shapes or designs in the dough, etc. Also, you can draw letters, numbers and shapes on index cards and encourage your children to roll “snake” shapes and lay the dough over the letter to make the shape. What about those Mr. Potato Head pieces you have floating around the toy room? Recycle them, roll a large glob of playdough, and make a face. Actually, any lids, beans, macaroni, and the like would be fun to press into the dough like a collage. Squish away!
Keeping Children Safely Occupied Part 2
By Stacey | Posted on May 25, 2009 | No Comments
Coloring is a favorite pasttime at our house. Everyone, except our oldest son, loves to color. Even Dad is a coloring man. If your children show interest in drawing or coloring, then a new coloring book, some fresh coloring sheets printed off the internet and a new box of crayons may be just the thing. You can have a specified coloring time each day or week, or color for a fun family activity on an evening or weeknight. Couple a coloring time with one family member reading aloud, or listen to a story on CD. Or, if you play board games that tend to be for your older children’s abilties, provide some fresh coloring sheets for your younger children to use right next to the game area. Recently our family purchased some reproducible coloring books. This makes sense for us because we have our own small photocopier. Our oldest daughter loves to draw, and has often created coloring sheets with black thinline markers that can be copied over and over for her younger siblings. Your kids would probably love to color something you drew too!
Keeping Children Safely Occupied Part 1
By Stacey | Posted on May 25, 2009 | No Comments
Our kids will love to be with us, no matter what the task at hand, if we are light-hearted and engaging. Try this to get your “to do” list done while investing time with your big or little sprout. Talk about whatever is on their mind, or just talk them through the steps you are doing and why.
- Dishes
- Laundry
- Cooking
- Tidying or cleaning
- Organizing
- Decorating
- Painting
- Gardening or yardwork
- Changing sheets
- Bathing or feeding a younger sibling
- Shopping
- Washing the car or pet
- Sewing or crafts
- Wrapping gifts
- Building things
So How Many Kids Makes a “Large Family”?
By Stacey | Posted on May 25, 2009 | No Comments
I’ll tell you right now, I thought I had all I could handle when I had one little boy. I was a 21-year-old mom, unsure of myself, and thought, “how could I ever do more than I’m doing now?” Baby #2 came and things leveled off. There were 2 of us and 2 of them. My husband could often help me, and we each carried a little one, each pushed a stroller, each changed a diaper. And even if Hubby wasn’t available, I still had two hands. Most tables hold 4 people, and the children fit nicely in our cars. All was well. Then. . . Baby #3 came to rock our world. Hubby’s job had him gone all day and often at night. There were 3 of them and one of me. One tired me. The laundry piled up, the dishes piled up, etc. Our family has felt “large” ever since. Just about the time I would master the day-to-day workings of our life, we’d add another blessing. So, for us, ”large” started at 3. Six still feels large, although, as they grow and gain skill and responsibility, it is easier to share the work among the family members. More about chores later. . .